My Father's Passing and Funeral - Financially Grounded

Table of Contents

Day 2

I am currently going through the process of transporting my deceased father from Colorado to Texas. Dad had a massive heart attack yesterday morning, March 14th, at 7:00 AM. My brother, Chris, and I performed CPR until the police arrived. EMS arrived shortly thereafter. Everyone worked to resuscitate Dad, but after 30 minutes there was still no pulse. Dad was pronounced dead at 7:30 AM.

The Deputy Coroner arrived and began a preliminary investigation to determine the cause of death. Based on the described behavior of the previous day since we arrived in Winter Park, CO, the initial consensus was a massive heart attack. Dad had fluid on his legs and ankles, a sign of a heart not performing well. He had complained of his heart working hard whenever he walked, especially upstairs. He stated that he was alright when sitting down. In hindsight, we should have taken him to the ER to have his heart checked out.

My Dad was Catholic, so I requested a preacher to perform Last Rights for him. A preacher was located and performed the Last Rights at the coroner’s truck where Dad had been taken. The preacher then came back to our condo to talk about death and to pray with us.

Chris and I called the funeral home in our hometown, Henneke Funeral Home. Until we know differently, we are proceeding with the assumption that Dad would have wanted to be buried near his mother and father, who preceded him in death years earlier.

Chris and I worked to put the hometown funeral home in contact with the coroner. They worked together to arrange for Dad to be flown back to Texas. I also worked with the Colorado funeral home, Aspen Mortuaries, to get the necessary form signed off by Chris and me. The forms needed were the Release Form, the Death Certificate form, and the Embalming form. Having Dad’s social security number was critical for the Death Certificate form. All of this was completed so that Dad could be picked up by Aspen Mortuaries and prepped for travel. Light embalming is required for the flight.

Dad will be received in Austin by Henneke Funeral Home and then taken to our hometown, Columbus, Texas. The death certificate has been approved and is being filed with the state of Colorado.

Chris and I will next go to Dad’s home to look for a will as well as insurance policies and accounts information. Many copies of the death certificate will be needed to close accounts and subscriptions and liquidate and transfer assets. As the executor of Dad’s will, it will be my fiduciary responsibility to make sure it is all done properly.00

Day 3

Chris and I went to Dad’s home and began the process of going through his documents. It didn’t take long to find what we were looking for. Dad’s will and related documentation was together in an envelope, including a business card to the lawyer he used to file, as well as a sheet of paper with important accounts’ contact information.

Per the will, I was able to confirm with Henneke Funeral Home that Dad did not have any special instructions for his burial. Chris and I have decided that Dad will be buried in the same cemetery where his mother and father are, in a plot as close as possible.

We’ve also reached out to an attorney that Chris knows to get recommendations for a probate attorney for the will.

Tomorrow we are scheduled to go to Henneke Funeral Home and meet with them to take care of the funeral arrangements.

Day 4

Chris and I arrived at Henneke Funeral Home at 11:00 AM to take care of the funeral arrangements. There were many questions asked about my father such as follows:

Address
Date of Birth
Place of Birth
Date of Death
Place of Death
Occupation (prior to retirement)
Name of Employer
Father’s Name
Mother’s Maiden Name
Survived By

We also had to decide the following:

Date and Time of Service
Place of Service
Whether or not to have a Rosary
What Cemetary
Who the Clergy would be to perform the ceremony
Chruch Affiliations
Pallbearers and Honorary Pallbearers

We had to pick out the casket and the liner (so that the dirt would not settle atop the grave over time). We picked out acknowledgment cards, local radio announcements, funeral notices, obituary in the local papers and on the website for Henneke Funeral Home, and lastly the number of certified death certificates wanted by the estate.

In addition to the funeral arrangements, Chris and I had to arrange flowers for the casket, called a spray, boutonniere for the pallbearers, and single flowers to lay on the casket at the graveside.

Chris and I took our mom to lunch to discuss the obituary, which she has been working on. We hope to finish this well before the funeral so that it gets the widest and longest circulation possible.

Chris has received a couple of probate attorney recommendations. One he knows very well. He is trying to make contact with this one to see if he’ll accept our case. We were advised by the funeral home director to get the price of the probate from the attorney and to select one with a flat rate, not hourly or a percentage of the estate. A flat rate attorney will be the most efficient at the proceeding and not drag it out longer than necessary.

Tomorrow we will go to Dad’s house to begin the cataloging of his accounts and subscriptions.

Day 5

Chris and I went to Dad’s house and I was able to log into his computer as him. From there I was able to get a full list of accounts as well as credentials for said accounts. We used this information to begin to make a list of Dad’s assets.

Chris was able to contact an attorney he knew from his job at the Texas Attorney General’s office, John, who is now retired and does probate cases. John agreed to be our attorney for this probate and was able to answer the questions we had.

While Chris and I were at Dad’s, Rachel, Chris’ wife was with my wife, Cheryl, visiting. Friday nights eating out was a tradition that Dad did with my family. Day 5 is Friday, so we all went out to dinner. It was strange going out to dinner on Friday night without Dad. We’re going to figure out how to keep this tradition alive and in our budget. It’s important to me.

The obituary was finished tonight also. We’ll get it posted on Facebook and elsewhere to get the word out, tomorrow.

Day 6

I posted the obituary first thing this morning on Facebook: my page and Dad’s. We are all also working to gather pictures of Dad and music he loved for the slideshow which will run during the viewing.

Day 7

Been working at Dad’s house cleaning up and looking for pictures. Have found some that brought back some great memories. We also have other family members looking for photos of Dad to include in the slideshow during the viewing.

I’m learning that there was a side of Dad that I didn’t know. Not bad, just different. I believe that Dad compartmentalized the different aspects of his life, not letting one bleed over into another. I wish I’d known my Dad better.

Day 8

Finalizing the slideshow for the viewing, which will occur the day of the funeral. Gathering all the pictures and music so I can get them on thumb drives to bring to Henneke Funeral Home tomorrow.

Day 9

Delivered the music and pictures for the slideshow to Henneke Funeral Home. Also paid for the cemetery plot for Dad. The plots are owned by the Catholic church and had to be paid separately from the funeral expenses.

Day 10

The viewing and the funeral went off without any issue. The speakers during the service did an excellent job. The music was very appropriate for Dad and I believe he would have been well pleased with all of it.

Met a lot of my Dad’s friends and relatives that I hadn’t known before, which opened up an entirely different life for Dad than I knew. I think it is easy to forget, as children, that our parents had full lives before we were brought into their lives.

I received the death certificates that will be needed in the next phase of this process.

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